oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Here's another bit from the daydream where Ara and Cin might have their bond snap into place at the end. Note: my headcanon has Gi-Ho as a fooodie and an excellent cook.

---

Ara and Cin doing music for a small audience in a common area of Masters' Tower. There is also some conversation.

Ara: "There are few off-duty activities I wouldn't interrupt to feast on Master Gi-Ho's leftovers."

Obi-Wan: "How do you make the most innocent comment sound like the sauciest innuendo?"

Ara, amused and a tiny bit annoyed: "My dude, how do you make the sauciest innuendo sound like the most innocent comment?"

Obi-Wan: "What do you mean?"

Ara, mocking Obi-Wan: "Master Yoda is very kind when he pounds your face into the practice mats."

*laughter from the audience*

Yoda to Obi-Wan (he's sitting on Obi-Wan's lap, head all the way back so he's mostly looking at the underside of Obi-Wan's chin): "Got you there, she has."

Ara to Yoda: "And you yes-and'ed him!"

Yoda: "Yes-and, did I?"

Ara, paraphrasing because she doesn't remember the exact words: "'Hope have more mask you do, pound your face I will later.'"

Yoda: *Kermit crumple face*

Cin to Yoda: "Ara may have a pornographic memory, but if that was close to accurate, she's got you there, too, Master."

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oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
This wound up way the hell longer than I intended, but I'm typing into the void so I'm just gonna do what I want. Still reading the sequels to Valor's Choice, but I'm starting to realize why I didn't finish the series last time, it gets a bit repetitive, though I'd read a book just about the Taykan culture if Tanya Huff wrote one!

As always for this series, direct quotes from other people (source fic or comments) are in blockquotes.

quotes and my commentary from the chapter )

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quotes of other people's comments, and my commentary )

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oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Hey, it's me barely keeping my promise to post something else this month. It's not May yet!

So, I have an idea for a time, at least three months but no more than a year after Faithful Friends (source fic story) and Cin Asks Ara on a date, sort of. Ara is in Cin's quarters in Masters Tower (same floor as Yoda's quarters), she and Cin are singing while she plays her guitar. Maybe just for fun or maybe practicing for something, like a surprise for Master Clearing for Gratitude Festival (something I made up, Fake Space Thanksgiving, it's on the opposite side of the calendar from Light Nights) or his life day. Anyhow, a few of his neighbors knock and ask the two to share their music with them. They move out to the common area of that floor and Cin and Ara sit on a bench while about a dozen others (let's say, Tahl, Yaddle and Piell, Obi-Wan and Yoda, among others). Most of these details aren't relevant to this entry, but I daydreamed a bunch of different conversations before I got to this point, and those'll get posted eventually, but this is another scene that I'd like to make into a "big story" or maybe even a chapter of a larger fic.

ANYHOW...here's version one:

4/20/25:

Scene of Ara and Cin doing music for a small audience (a dozen people give or take) in the small common area of Cin's floor of Masters Tower. No Anakin because it's before he gets chosen (if he gets chosen) for apprenticeship. They're sitting on a bench that could fit three of Cin if they weren't prissy about personal space.

Near the end of the impromptu concert, Ara rests her head on Cin's shoulder and closes her eyes for a few moments.

Cin, quietly: "Tired?"

Ara, also quietly: "Not very, but definitely ready for bed."

Cin: "I read you loud and clear. One last song?"

snip! )

And here's version two:

4/21/25:

Same scene as above, but when Ara gets caught up in Cin when he's singing, Cin finishes the song and looks down at Ara with similar wonder. He's a little more self-aware because he's bonded with romantic partners several times before (this is only the second spontaneous bond formation for Ara, the first being Jitters's collaring), but he hadn't been sure that Ara would ever actually fall in love with him like he had with her, and had made his peace and even become comfortable with the idea that much as Ara cared about him (enough to give dating a try, and not like the "speed run"), that her feelings might not become romantic.

But her feelings had become romantic, and she loves him too, and his heart is so full.

After an unknown amount of time, they realize that, hey, remember that thing where they were performing for an audience?

snip! )

===

Edits made on 5/17/25.

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oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Bits of the Ara 'Verse that have little or no mention of "The Library Kidnapping." Short version: kidnapped with a bunch of younglings at 15/10, when rescued (16th life day while captive) after 45 days she was carrying an embryo that was eventually adopted by a family on Colstev, then the child (LNF for "Little Nightmare Fuel," eventually I picked the name Andken Woolmati from a name generator) was sent to the Temple when he was found to be Force-sensitive. He became friends with Anakin, whose meetings with Palpatine started when he was 10, and in these conversations Skeevy Sheev told Anakin that Ara was Andken's "mother" and that caused Ara upset to the point that it affected her health, and she became Eller's assistant because that way the "Jump Scare Twins" couldn't bother her at work.

Ara is a Sphinxian Peasant and ages at 2/3 the rate of a baseline human, so her age will be listed as, for example, 12/8. LNF/Andken has the same germ-line edits, so he ages at the same rate. (Arrek Melnau is a Sphinxian Aristocrat who is 60 years older than Ara, he ages at 1/3 the rate of a baseline human. Not much mention of him yet but he's important in Ara's childhood because they're the only Sphinxian heavy-worlders in the Order until LNF shows up and he's the only person who can hang out with her "in grav.")

>> this is in chronological order of posting <<

Arala Melnau, Age 8 (this was before I decided Sphinxian aging, she's 10 in this scene now)

Arala Melnau, Age 11 (probably 12 now, and I don't think Drallig had been made Battlemaster at that point)

Arala Melnau, Age 10-12 (she's 13 in this part now, her age cutoff is onset of puberty plus one year or 19.5 standard. this story deals with food-related issues and unintentional child neglect, and I'm only putting it in this entry because there are occasional mentions of Ara's food issues [mostly in Cin Asks Ara])

Jocasta Nu to the Council and Eller about Ara becoming Ara's Assistant Vague allusion to TLK here, but nothing linked on this page will be graphic (though some pages will link to the entry about TLK, but just skip those if you don't want the dark stuff, I'm going to re-write that whole ordeal to be less dire than that entry anyway...eventually...I should make a to-do list maybe).

One idea for long-term ending. Would take place outside the lighter fare and most of the content. This is basically the brightest, kindest ending for everyone. (last paragraph mentions TLK, but only for the barest explanation of why LNF is upsetting to Ara)

More Iterations of the Mid-meal conversation. (takes place after Ara and Yoda have begun their D/s dynamic--that dynamic was going to be the main focus of the 'verse, before Jitters and Cin took over. I do intend to get back to it, and I've already written out the conversation in which Ara is conversationally cornered into broaching the subject to Yoda, I just have to write out the afternoon tea on the South Terrace that happens before that) (the previous entry that's linked contains mention to some of the dark stuff, so reader discretion and all)

[NSFW] Straight-up smut with non-romantic feels. Ara is 24. [25 in the new timeline] (Ara and Cin's first time. It's a scripted first draft and needs re-writing [for one thing, Jitters is 20 in this fic which means he's not knighted yet, timeline issue], but I'm generally happy with it. This is from before I re-re-read FF and got sidetracked by Cin Drallig for...a little over a year now, though Ara's relationship with Jitters grows throughout the same time period)

The Vigil: Misremembering, Daydream, Writing it Down, Checking the "Source Fic," Sighing.(1/2) (scripted bits, not all align with who was actually in the room at the time, The Vigil should probably be my next "big story" but it might have to wait until I sort out the few days before and After Cin Asks Ara)

The Vigil: Misremembering, Daydream, Writing it Down, Checking the "Source Fic," Sighing.(2/2) (More of the same. Way too many "source fic" quotes in this one)

So I re-read a thing, then I wrote a daydream thing, then I re-re-read it ahead of posting this... (contains a bit of dialogue from FF, the first version the daydream and the second version the post-re-re-reading re-write; this is where Cin gets the "lovely musical composition from a dear friend" that's mentioned in Cin Asks Ara)

[NSFW] BDSM Scene With Feemor and the Next Morning. (bottle episode; can be skipped without missing any lore)

A couple more "lunchtime conversation tidbits" because why not. (I really enjoyed daydreaming the "next therapy appointment is gonna be lit" bit, though it did remind me that my pasty western European mutt ass can only go so far vocabulary-wise in being inspired by Beckett Mariner from ST:LD for Ara)

>> Cin Asks Ara on a date, sort of. (the first Big Story! I spent a good two months going over and over and over this 8k or so words, and I still to back and tweak it once in awhile. The beginning of this story overlaps with the ending of FF. Also features a bit of my Gi-Ho headcanon and a bit about Ara's food issues as an adult) (outtakes from Cin Asks Ara; includes things like discussion of Yoda's "kiss test" for Obi-Wan from ATLL that I decided to drop entirely)

The "Three Words Meme" (fun activity from the Jedi Temple Intranet Hookup Board)

Inserting more of my own worldbuilding into my version of ATLL. (just for fun; also, for the purposes of my AU of the ATLL AU, Jitters was Master Bert's padawan)

Pour one out for Healer Vygor. (Ara mentions her interest in Yoda to her therapist, though not the kink part)

>> The Only Way Out Is Through (the second Big Story! [of two so far] Part One takes place a few months before FF, Part Two goes back to the year before Ara was knighted. NSFW in Part Two: Ara and Jitters near the end of the fic; Ara is 24/16 [developmental age addressed in author's notes] and Jitters is 20) (outtakes; some of these conversations I definitely want to use elsewhere)

The conversation between Cin and Jo during "The Only Way Out Is Through" (I was originally going to leave this open, but then I got an idea for what they'd actually say. Also in my headcanon, "Don't make it weird" is something Dooku is known for saying, often to avoid showing emotions that aren't haughty disdain)

Some bits and bobs of ideas from the Ara 'Verse. (this is how short some of my daydream bits are, my two main Google Docs [I had to start a new one for 2025 because the original took too long to load on my old laptop] are full of stuff like this)

"Riding the Green Dragon" (Just because, and I wanted to have something for April. I guess I'd better keep my promise soon! [this doesn't count])

Two ideas for Ara and Cin's bond snapping into place. (exactly what it says on the tin. These were fun to imagine, and I want to make a "big story" about the whole impromptu musical event one of these days)

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oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Two responses Ara could give to someone who sneers that she's "riding the Green Dragon," whether she's intimate with Yoda by that point or not:

"It's cool that you think that I'm worthy of the intimate attentions of someone with centuries of accumulated game, but it's weird that you'd think of me and Master Yoda in a sexual context at all."

-and/or-

"My dude, I am Master Yoda's primary transportation. The Green Dragon is riding me."

===

...yeah, I know it's not much, but I promise that this won't be all I post this month.

(Yeah, posting at least once a month is more of a promise to myself than anything else, but I'd hoped that someone would read any of my posts and post a reply. But after my awesome "Knight Bates" jokes didn't get a response, I'm not sure that anything can.)

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oh_what_can_it_mean: chibi john sheppard from sga having trouble writing (chibi)
3/1/25: Posting this because I'm still trying to figure out what the next big short story is going to be. It's either going to be a rewrite and expansion of Cin and Ara's first time (NSFW), or the week that follows Cin Asks Ara. I intend to do both, but lately my daydream has been bouncing around multiple timelines and it's not often easy to concentrate on a particular scene, especially when I'm at work.

===

Possible confrontation between Anakin and Jitters about Ara and her response to the jump scares. It can take place before this, or it can take place in a 'verse where Anakin winds up in the Engineering Corps or other Service Corps.

(And if the latter is the case, it isn't just Ara documenting her conversations with Anakin's and Andken's docents/crechemasters and logging each completed jump scare [i.e., one of them speaks to Ara; if they were headed off by someone like Siri did at the beginning of TOWOIT, she wouldn't bother], it'd also be other examples of lack of care for others, such as the items of Obi-Wan's that Jinn found destroyed when he cleaned out his padawan room. It'd also be when he hung back from classes because he thought something was beneath him, like the time Jinn discussed lightsaber construction and stones and then brought him back to the class. Skeevy Sheev is being a manipulative groomer, but Anakin has so many adults on his side who want him to succeed as a Jedi [even Ara when she's not actively re-traumatized]--his docents, his therapist, his instructors, Jinn, Kenobi--but he favors the words of Palpatine, who's telling him what he wants to hear for his own nefarious reasons. Anakin chooses the path of selfishness.)

[Star Wars meta writers go into this much better than I can here, and I'll post links eventually.]

Old note:
2024.11.27 conversation imagined at work that, once again, I can't get onto the page.

Sometime while Anakin is still 12, Obi-Wan takes him to an engineer party/Engineering Club event. (obvs not one of the meetups where Jitters is designing a ship where he and Ara could live comfortably and Ara could have her grav-time needs met)

At the end of the event (something hands-on and mechanical), a Knight says to Anakin, "That was a really out-of-the-box solution you came up with, Anakin. If you can get your discipline issues under control, I think you could be a fine Knight and a valuable addition to the Engineering Corps."

>> Anakin: "Discipline issues?"

>> Knight: "I was considering approaching you myself, but a friend recommended that I take a look at your file first. Do you know what I found there?"

>> Anakin, rolling his eyes: "A bunch of hysterical whining from Knight Melnau?"

snip! )

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oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Some of this stuff is from the past few weeks, and other stuff is from over a year ago, but I didn't put dates on these little bits initially. The master document of stuff that I originally use is a Google Doc that takes a long time to fully load these days, so I have another one now that is starting to fill up...with bits of scenes that I daydreamed mostly-happily at work and then kinda crashed and burned at writing it down at home afterward. Anyhow...

"Did you hear the one about Knight Bates? He loved to teach, but he never took an apprentice."

===

(sometime early in ATLL)

>> Jitters: "Wait, that's 'Quin?' Your Quin? Blanket Fort Quin?"
>> Ara: "Well, he's his own Quin..."
>> Jitters: "..."
>> Ara: "...what?"
>> Jitters: *gives her a hard look*
>> Ara, smugly: "I told you you weren't a lack of options."

===

(Ara at dinner with Jitters and Master Bert at their place when both were padawans)

>> Ara: you will be my squishy.
>> Jitters: but I’m not squishy.
>> Ara: would you rather I call you my scrawny?
>> Jitters: I changed my mind.
>> Master Bert: *cracks up*

===

Energy Types (later used in "defining trait" conversation)

Ara: salty bitch
Jitters: big dork energy
Quinlan: chaos himbo
Obi-Wan: sassy bitch
Kressa: voice of reason
Gi-Ho:
Cin:
Yoda: Sir
Jocasta: HBIC energy
Eller: boss lady/boss ass bitch (Ara will become Eller's assistant between ATLL and FF.)

Suggestions welcome for Cin and Gi-Ho especially, but suggestions for the others (and characters who aren't on this list) are also welcome!

===

Conversation from "Cin Asks Ara" in the lift. Present are Ara, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Cin, and Luna.

>> Ara to Obi-Wan: "In loco veritas! Use being high to say something that you wouldn't otherwise say! Be radically honest! It doesn't have to be anything serious, either. It can be nerdy, or silly, or even kinky. It doesn't matter. Just say something new, and real."
>> Obi-Wan to Ara: "Is that what you're going to do?"
>> Ara to Obi-Wan: "Yes!"
>> Yoda to Cin: "Think you do that a monologue it will be?"
>> Cin to Yoda: "I have my ways of getting a word in edgeweise."
>> Ara: *gasps, looks up sharply at Cin, eyes wide with realization* "That's what the caramels are for!
>> Cin, Yoda, and Obi-Wan have a good laugh at that, and Ara joins in after a few moments, seeming to realize that they weren't laughing at her in a mean way.

7/24/24: Jitters learns about the caramels. “I should try that.”

Ara; “fuck around and find out.” It’s just a comeback, not one of their protocols, but in practice it means “do this for a funishment scene.”

8/25/24: After a few years, Jitters gets comfortable fucking around and finding out. He'll get assertive and playful, sometimes even in front of friends (mainly Quinlan, Kressa, and Obi-Wan). The friends will notice Ara's not-so-hidden pride at this bit of confidence.

2/7/25: This is Ara's primary goal for her dynamic with Jitters, especially once it starts to get serious: to build up his confidence. Every time he asserts himself (in any situation), or asks to try something new without being prompted, or sasses Ara, she feels a little thrill of victory*. And responding to the sass with a hot funishment scene is fun, and they both know (they don't acknowledge it out loud, but they do have a bond that snapped into place during Jay's collaring ceremony so they're experts at reading between each other's lines) that it's really a reward.

>> *Yes, yes, she knows that credit also goes to Master Bert, Healer Vygor, other friends, and of course Jitters himself, but she helped.

===

Might never be used, but they amused me:

"I swear by ____, I will end you."

>> Master Windu's resting bitch face
>> Knight Melnau's infinite fucks
>> Master Yoda's tiny undershorts
>> Knight Kenobi's face squirrel
>> Knight Norwal's caf addiction

===

2/12/24 (with 2/15/24 [and 2/7/25] edits):

Sometime after Faithful Friends [and after Ara and Yoda's dynamic begins], Ara, Obi-Wan, and Yoda attend the Aldera Summit.

>> At some point Ara is carrying Yoda, Obi-Wan is with them, and they and several other attendees are passing through a formal area (ballroom?) of the royal palace when Ara stares at the magnificent grand piano but keeps walking in the correct direction, though Yoda jokes, "oh no, seen piano Knight Melnau has! Going into auto-pilot, she is!" And of course now that they know someone can play the piano, Ara is asked to play something. She plays something short and sweet. Others walk in as she's playing and ask what the occasion is, and one of the disputing parties says, "Master Yoda is showing off his tiny pianist." (“Get job done, tiny pianist does” Yoda respond.) [Ara is 4'6".]

>> Ara misses it at the time, but later Ara hears of it and jokes, "I want 'Master Yoda's Tiny Pianist' on my headstone." It's obviously a joke because nobody gets buried on Coruscant and Jedi get pyres anyway, but Yoda says, "absolutely not!" And then Ara says, "how about a lower back tattoo?" Also a joke, but Bail hears it and writes it out in some kind of special royal Alderaanian calligraphy with flourishes and stuff and gives it to her the next day. (Possibility that Ara saves that paper or actually gets the tattoo, either way it's something Ara can show Leia later in a timeline where the Empire and the Rebellion happen.)

===

Sometime after Yoda and Ara's dynamic begins:

Yoda: "When breathe fire I do these days, blush scarlet and cover ears this one does; take notes on datapad, that one does. Both reactions endearing are."

===

Tentative color code for Jitters's dynamic availability:

Red: Awake, on duty, unavailable
Orange: Asleep/busy in his bed/quarters with company, unavailable
Yellow: Asleep/busy in someone else's bed/quarters, unavailable
Green: Awake, not on duty, may be occupied but still available at a moment's notice
Blue: Awake, working on a project/occupied, can be interrupted with adequate warning
Purple: Awake, with others in or out of Temple, can be contacted but it'd be inconvenient to drop everything to make himself available.

===
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
From "The Only Way Out Is Through":

     By this time, the tea that hasn't been consumed has gone cold. Master Jo walks Master Drallig to the door while Ara clears the table and washes the dishes. She notes a gap of at least a minute between the sound of the front door sliding open and the sound of it sliding shut, but she doesn't try to eavesdrop. She's curious, but after the past few hours--the past few days, really--her energy and her give-a-damn are severely depleted.

(2/2/25)
Cin and Jo talking while Ara was washing dishes in The Only Way Out Is Through:

>> Jo: "Don't be surprised if she propositions you within days of being knighted."

>> Cin: "Would it bother you if I accepted the proposition?"

>> Jo: "It wouldn't bother me at all. I have no doubt it'd be the night of her life, and I trust you to treat her well and be mindful of her past."

>> Cin: *grateful that he can only blush once when he's deeply touched by both sentiments* "I...thank you, Jo."

>> Jo: "I think it's a good sign for her recovery that she's attracted to you. Much as I like Padawan Norwal, and I think they'll have an intimate friendship for the ages, I'm glad that Arala is starting to move on from the need for the kind of safety that he represents."

snip! )


---
Note: Alethea Ada McGrath (actor who played Jocasta Nu in AOTC) (1 June 1920 – 9 February 2016) (82 in 2002) (82 in 22 BBY when AOTC takes place) (Nu is 45 years older than Ara and 15 years older than Cin)
---
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Feeling much better today. This is the last of the worldbuilding/brainstorming/commentary from when I was sick, and I would be doing Chapter 6 right now, but I'm actually absorbed in an actual book! (It's Valor's Choice by Tanya Huff. I read about half of the series a few years ago and got sidetracked. I'm going back to it because I like that the multi-species military that the series centers around doesn't set the same standards for every species. Because different species are different, y'knnow. Evolved on different planets and everything. Anyhow.)

As always for this series, direct quotes from other people (source fic or comments) are in blockquotes.

quotes and my commentary from the chapter )

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quotes of other people's comments, and my commentary )

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oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Feeling better today, but not 100% yet. Had an out-of-town dentist appointment (I've spent the past year getting dental care after a decade without, I've needed a lot of work!) that wound up being a whole day trip, but it was worth it.

As always for this series, direct quotes from other people (source fic or comments) are in blockquotes.

quotes and my commentary from the chapter )

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quotes of other people's comments, and my commentary )

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oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Still sick, but this part is all done so it's just copy and paste. Still daydreaming, but I have a bunch of small ideas, so hopefully in a few months I'll have like 8k words to show for it. *eyeroll at myself*

As always for this series, direct quotes from other people (source fic or comments) are in blockquotes.

quotes and my commentary from the chapter )

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quotes of other people's comments, and my commentary )

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oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Still sick. Slept in way too late (it's 2:24 pm as I type this and I got up at noon, and I have work tomorrow which means that I have to be in bed by 8:00 pm. Head Cold Of Doom Plus Poor Sleep-In Discipline Equals Tomorrow Is Going To Suck. But have some more of this. I am still daydreaming and writing actual rough drafts and other ideas, but this is more my speed while I'm not at full brainpower.

As always for this series, direct quotes from other people (source fic or comments) are in blockquotes.

1/3/25:

Bits from Chapter 2 of ATLL:

quotes and my commentary from the chapter )

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1/3/25:

quotes of other people's comments, and my commentary )

If you're reading this, I hope your New Year got a better start than mine did. :)

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oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
unnecessary preamble )

Re-reading ATLL and its spin-offs start to finish to try to pick up bits of worldbuilding I missed before. This time I'm adding a bunch of commentary right alongside the source fic text to get the ideas out. Source fic text and comment text (anything that isn't my commentary, really) will be in blockquotes.

1/2/25: Last year I resolved to read more regular published books and catch up on podcasts that I'd left by the wayside since the Ara 'verse daydream began in earnest in September of 2023, and I'm going to try to do that, but I really don't want to let go of this daydream, or the Elia 'verse. They got me writing again, and having vivid daydreams and writing them down (even if what gets written down rarely holds a candle to the original imagined scene) has given me something to live for, and I'm going to "hold on loosely but don't let go" for as long as I can. I woke up with a cold yesterday (great way to start the new year! /s) so I left work early and took a nap and now I'm going to be up all night, and I was continuing my for-taking-notes re-read of the ATLL 'verse, and I noticed the part at the beginning of Chapter 5 that mentions that yes, actually, Jitters was knighted after Obi-Wan, and now I'm going back and reading all of the comments to ATLL. Because I'm weird like that.

1/3/25: This is quickly becoming worldbuilding, brainstorming, and commentary. Whatever, they're my notes.

quotes and my comments on the chapter itself )

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quotes and my commentary on comments to the chapter )

===

*chugs DayQuil, sips ginger ale, re-reads more fic*
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Relevant bits of this AU's history:

34 BBY: [Ara is 25/16 ⅔, Andken is 6/4] First interaction of Andken and Ara, Andken's creche group takes a trip to the Archives and then-Padawan Ara sees him and runs for the 'fresher because she knows who this is at a glance, because he looks like Jork, the worst of the Bad Men from The Library Kidnapping. After she calms down, she asks to have a talk with Master Jo, Andken, one of his docents, Ara's therapist, and a therapist for Andken, and they do the best they can to explain to Andken that his presence reminds Ara of painful times, and that's not his fault, but it'd be kind of him to avoid her. Andken's a good kid, and he does avoid Ara, because he doesn't want to hurt anyone, even if he doesn't understand what's going on. This state of affairs continues for about two years. Ara even sees him do a dive roll to get out of the way once, and she starts to see a sweet Jedi kid, not the person he resembles.

>> After she's knighted, she even notices, out of the corner of her eye, how much he likes to read, how respectful he is of library materials, that he doesn't shout or run through the Archives. She's nowhere near ready for an apprentice, but she does muse in the privacy of her own mind that it'd be nice to not spend "grav time" alone all the time. [Ara has to spend at least a third of her time in Sphinxian gravity to maintain her heavy-worlder bone density and muscle mass, and because these are germ-line gene edits, Andken needs that too.]

32 or 31 BBY: [Ara is 28ish/18ish, Andken is 9ish/6ish, Anakin is 10/baseline human] Anakin gets moved from Qui-Gon Jinn's quarters to the Initiate Dorms. He makes friends with Andken (initially over having such similar names), and when the private meetings with Palpatine start, Anakin talks about his friend Andken and his weird experience with this one librarian, and in a later meeting Palpatine has figured out who the librarian was and learned about The Library Kidnapping, and tells Anakin that now-Knight Melnau is Andken's "real" mother. Anakin misses his mother, and thinks that hey, at least my friend can spend time with his mom. Anakin doesn't pick up on Palpatine's manipulation (of course not, he's ten), so he and Andken mean well, but each time Ara runs away or asks them to go away, each time these Force-sensitive kids feel Ara's nausea when Andken calls Ara "Mom," they just think that she needs to get to know her kid. Ara's frustrated and re-traumatized with each "jump scare," as she calls them. She doesn't want to be the one to explain to these kids what kind of memories they're triggering, so she talks to their docents and makes notes in their permanent records for each instance of explicitly unwanted contact. She also makes changes in her own life to try to mitigate the harm the jump scares cause (spending the night with Drallig often wears her out and leads to dreamless sleep, or stocking up on nutrient shakes from the Healer Halls so that nightmares that makes her sick will feel less gross, meditating more to hopefully have more calm when the jump scares happen, seeking advice from trusted Masters), but considering the permanently life-changing nature of the original trauma, there's not a whole hell of a lot she can do.

The bit of actual story:

This takes place three or four months after Anakin starts living in the Initiate Dorms. He's made friends with Andken Woolmati (LNF) and had a few conversations with Palpatine, and then the jump scares start. (By the "jump scares" I mean that the boys pop up where Ara is working--or eating, or doing anything in a public space that initiates have access to--and start trying to ingratiate themselves while Andken calls Ara "Mom" and re-traumatizes her.)

At some point, it's pointed out to Ara that the Force/midi-chlorians didn't communicate with Shmi Skywalker before she became pregnant with Anakin, likely by Anakin himself.
Anakin: "The Force didn't ask my mom, she just had me and raised me because that's what moms do!"
And then Ara has a major crisis of faith.

12/27/24: Ara will ask Master Tahl to ask Master Jinn and get the exact quote:
Qui-Gon Jinn: "The Force is unusually strong with him. That much is clear. Who was his father?"
Shmi Skywalker: "There was no father. I carried him, I gave birth, I raised him. I can't explain what happened."

>> After that, Ara will take a leave of absence (this is before becoming Eller's assistant, that'll happen sometime between ATLL and FF) and spend about two months in deep conversation with monks and nuns about how could the Force just use Shmi Skywalker the way the Bad Men used her during The Library Kidnapping? Is the Force a rapist? Can the Force do something immoral? (Does the Force doing it make it moral?) According to Jinn's account of the conversation, there's no indication that there's a memory of Anakin being sired to begin with, just an apparent realization that she was pregnant, so there's no memory of an assault (at least not in the case of the midi-chlorians/the Force in this instance), but there's also clearly no mention of the midi-chlorians/the Force asking permission to use Shmi's body to carry this possible Chosen One to term and to just raise him like it was normal.

>> By the end of the second month, she's had some good conversations about the nature of the Force and learned a lot about the clergy, but the sometimes-circular conversation is starting to feel pretentious, like she might disappear up her own ass at any time. She doesn't come to a conclusion, and she leaves the small group of monks and nuns that been a discussion group still discussing, but her best guess is that the Light side of the Force wouldn't hijack a woman's body without her permission, but the Dark side just might. Nobody else likes this guess, but it's the only thing that pulls Ara out of her spiral.

Edit, 2/16/25: It was Palpatine, using Dark Side midi-chlorian manipulation. I had a vague memory of this comic bit from Tumblr, but it hadn't occurred to me when I was trying to figure out a solution to Ara's crisis of faith (seriously, it took me months to figure out the "conceived by the Dark Side" thing, because otherwise how could she continue to serve a Light Side that would do that?). It was only reading this Tumblr text post that made me remember it and look it up.

I don't think Ara will ever know for sure that she halfway stumbled onto the right answer (she thought it was the Dark Side on its own, not a Dark Side user), but now I have to consider how she'd react when she did. It'd definitely depend on the timeline and Ara's age and experiences.
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
I did it! I finished the big two-part fic! Of course, like every other story I finish I'll be nitpicking it for the rest of my life, but at least it's complete enough to post.

Note: Part One takes place 2 to 6 months before Faithful Friends and Cin Asks Ara. Ara is 30 in that story. Part Two takes place years before, when Ara is a 24-year-old padawan. Ara won't learn until sometime in her 30s that the age of majority for a Sphinxian peasant on Sphinx is 25, but Ara is listed as simply "human" on her Coruscant citizen papers and was legally an adult at 18, but since she ages at about 2/3 the rate of a baseline human she didn't get her sexuality training until she was 22, and even then it took agreement from Ara's healer, her therapist, and her master, and them all agreeing that there were no contraindications in the Force. That might seem like a nitpicky thing, but in the unlikely event that another human ever reads this, I wouldn't want them to be upset that they read an underage fic without being warned. (So far, my Sphinxian canon is that all the other Sphinxians who've been in the order--less than 20 in the millennium that Sphinx has been an insular culture--have been from the aristocrat class, who age at 1/3 the rate of baseline humans, and those families were able to send their Force-sensitive babies to the Temple with notes on their care, but only sent notes on that baby's caste. Ara was able to leave Sphinx because an AgriCorps Jedi who was working with Ara's parents and other peasant farmers noticed that Ara was Force-sensitive, but the AgriCorps Jedi in question was clueless dork Ben Lars, who was more interested in agricultural machinery than in learning anything about Sphinxian culture.)

*looks up* Wow, again with the long, detailed, nitpicky author's note. Better clear than unclear, I guess.

Anyhow...

The Only Way Out Is Through, Part One

Author's note: This is a Council Tea like in ATLL Chapter 2, but it takes place two to three months before Faithful Friends. There are multiple other salons going on in the area, per Chapter 2.

---

     The Council Tea is held in a cozy nook lit by small votive candles in carved niches in the wall. Masters and Knights sit on cushions on the floor around a long, low, rectangular table. Present are Masters Yoda, Windu, Billaba, Nu, and Gallia, and Knights Melnau, Norwal, and Tachi, among others.

     Knight Siri Tachi sees Skywalker and LNF coming to crash the party only a second after Ara does, and she pauses in her criticism of Ara to say, "I got this," then forcibly takes the two younglings back to the creche.

     "What was that about?" Jitters asks Ara.

snip! )


The Only Way Out Is Through, Part Two

Author's note: This story takes place when Ara was 24/16 (24 calendar years, aging at approximately 2/3 the rate of a baseline human, to be 16 developmentally), two or three days after she asked Obi-Wan on a date and he turned her down.

---

     Ara is in a small workout room off the main gym, whaling on a heavy bag. She's chosen this room because it has gravity plating, and she's set the gravity at a full two G's, hoping that the slightly-more-than-Sphinxian-standard gravity (which is 1.75G) will help her burn off her negative emotions a little faster.

     THUD.

     I thought maybe we could walk around Aleut's, then get dinner at the Alisandre.

     THUD.

     At the Alis--I'm sorry, Ara, but I'm not really interested in anyone in that way.

     THUD.

     In what way?

     THUD.

snip! )


End note: The "got her groove back" story in Part Two is the (for now) settled canon version of this awkwardly-told tale from the old timeline. It references Ara becoming Master Yoda's assistant (Eller was going to retire or go on maternity leave based on what her age wound up being), but a re-reading of ATLL and Faithful Friends reminded me how much Eller was really in the story (the first reading had me mostly concentrating on franchise characters, the second got me more invested in the ms_nawilla's own OCs, especially Jitters [clearly]), and I had her become Eller's assistant, which worked out well for my story because it means more interaction with Eller, because Eller is neato.

End end note: And now that I've done a ton of edits and notes since posting this a little over two hours ago, next up is the outtakes!

Edit, 2/2/25: I wrote out the conversation between Cin Drallig and Jocasta Nu that took place while Ara was washing dishes during Part Two. It's here. Also, there are more edits coming for this story and "Cin Asks Ara." Because I never stop nitpicking and I'm my own worst critic.
oh_what_can_it_mean: yoda: "always in motion is the future" (yoda)
(I'd meant to post a long-ish short story since I haven't posted since August, but I'm struggling just to maintain the daydream, so here's something that entertained--and bummed me out somewhat--for over a week a few months ago and was only written about on one or more Google Docs.)

The main Ara-verse timeline will be a happier one, where both LNF/Andken Woolmati and Anakin Skywalker both wind up in the Service Corps (Anakin as both Engineering Corps and Exploration Corps and LNF/Andken in the Education Corps as an Archivist on Trell), but this timeline is probably the one from which much of the Original Trilogy and at least Episode VII of the Sequel Trilogy wind up happening and they connect with the Elia-verse. In this timeline (I guess I'll call it Timeline 2 for now), Obi-Wan takes Anakin as his Padawan, Palpatine gets away with all his shit despite Ara's insistence that Palpatine is a creepy creeper who creeps (it's just a feeling, and since she can't cite her sources with anything more than gut feelings, as an Archivist she doubts even herself until it's too late), and Anakin winds up becoming Darth Vader and all that jazz.

Anyhow, here's one version of how Ara learning that Obi-Wan has taken Anakin as his Padawan. It takes place after Faithful Friends and Cin Asks Ara, however many months after that to where Anakin is damn near thirteen but not quite. After almost three years of Anakin and LNF/Andken being "the Jump Scare Twins," Ara is understandably upset by "that little shit Skywalker" being chosen for apprenticeship.

(in script form because I might not get around to fleshing this out into a proper story but I want that possibility to be out there)

6/15/24

Obi-Wan chooses Anakin

(Timeline 2)

>> Sometime after Faithful Friends and Cin Asks Ara, probably a week before Anakin turns 13, Ara shows up to Master Yoda's quarters and finds that her Master has company--Obi-Wan, which is pretty normal, but also Anakin Skywaker, which is a first, at her Master's kitchen table. Ara stops in her tracks steps from the front door, stunned, unable to hide the surprise/hurt/betrayal she's feeling. (Ara and Yoda are maybe two months into their dynamic, which starts sooner than usual for plot reasons, but Ara and Cin had enough pre-existing emotional intimacy before starting to date that the dynamic with Yoda wouldn't need to wait six or so months.)
>> Anakin to Obi-Wan, uncomfortable: "Master?"
>> Ara shivers as her blood runs cold and she feels a current of the Force that feels like a deep freezer, and she gets a sense of foreboding that this is the first step towards the dark times.
>> If it's real, that is. I have to wake up, Ara thinks desperately.
>> She pinches her arm.
>> Nothing.
>> She pinches her arm again, harder.
snip! )


There's a part I wrote for after this, that could make this fit into the main timeline, but I'll save that for if I haven't finished nitpicking my current actual short story to death by the end of November.
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "come to the dork side" (star wars)
This has been sitting in my main bits-and-pieces document for months. I'm working on two written-out, non-scripted stories that were intended to go together (what I've actually been working on for the past well over a month), but now it looks like they might wind up being stand-alones. But I hope to finish them--or at least get to a point where I consider them postable here, in the next few weeks.

Ara in therapy, after becoming Eller's assistant, after learning that Yoda and Obi-Wan are lovers, before mentioning to Vygor the alarms or wanting to submit to Yoda:

Ara: [explains that years ago she had developed romantic feelings for someone for the first time, and had asked Obi-Wan on an actual date, and that Obi-Wan had let her down gently, mentioning that he wasn't really interested in anyone, romantically or sexually, and that it had taken awhile, but she'd gotten over him. But she recently learned that Obi-Wan and Yoda had become lovers]

Vygor: "Does that bother you, that he chose a tiny, ancient old man over you?"

Ara: "Nah, he chose not-me years before he chose Master Yoda. And even if he'd picked him over me, that would just be Fezzik's Law. There will always be someone shorter and cuter than you are. Besides, I get it. I wouldn't kick Master Yoda out of bed any more than I would have Obi-Wan."

Vygor: "Really?"

Ara: "Yeah. I've heard rumors, and some first-hand accounts, and I'm damned curious what eight centuries of accumulated game add up to."

Vygor, pinching the bridge of his nose: "And with that, it's almost time for my twice-monthly lunch with Yoda. Thanks for that."

Ara, laughing: "I'm sorry! Well, I should be sorry. That's just funny. I'm sorry for not being sorry."



Edit idea, 2024-10-25:

Vygor: "Does that bother you, that he chose a tiny, ancient old man over you?"

Ara: "Oh, no. It's not a binary choice. Obi-Wan could have both of us. Hell, as far as I'm concerned, he could have both of us at the same time. Gotta say, I'm damned curious what eight centuries of accumulated game add up to."

[...]
oh_what_can_it_mean: chibi john sheppard from sga having trouble writing (chibi)
I swear I have other ideas. After the daydreaming funk I was in when I finally posted Cin Asks Ara, I spun out a few different timelines, some of which got kind of dark (like a timeline in which Obi-Wan has a vision that leads to the Council assigning Ara LNF as her padawan). So...yeah, I have multiple timelines now. And I will map those out later.

For now, here's a snippet that I wrote several months ago, that takes place during Chapter 15 of ATLL. The parts in italic are directly quoted from the chapter, with one minor grammar edit because I'm a pedant.

     Kressa gave him [Jitters] a suspicious look. "Were you up all night again?"

     He hunched a little. "Yes. But I think I figured out why the mode switching protocol was failing in the simulations."

     "At least it was productive," Quin commented.

     "Yeah. But I’m sure I’ll hear about it from Master Bert, so you don’t have to scold me. He’s surprisingly well balanced for an engineer. He checks in with us to make sure we don’t work ourselves too hard."

     "Good." Obi-Wan stepped out of the lift and headed toward the terminal. "We’ll have to get his comm code in case you forget to take care of yourself."


     Quinlan and Kressa traded knowing looks. "So what does this do to your accountability bet thing?" Quinlan asked Jitters.

     "Oh, hells," Jitters moaned, slapping his forehead. "I just reset the clock for everybody!"

     "Accountability bet thing?" asked Obi-Wan.

     "Knight Melnau has an accountability bet thing going with me and some other engineers that she's friends with for taking better care of ourselves. The first one was to have a healthy sleep schedule within parameters set by our respective healers. The current one--the one I just kriffed up--was to eat real food every four hours while awake. Damn it, we were three weeks in."

     "Same prize as the first round?" asked Kressa, grinning.

     "Yep!" Jitters cheered up a bit at the memory of the first time.

     "Prize?" asked Obi-Wan.

     "Ara being under the table while the rest of us play Galactic Conquest."

     Obi-Wan chuckled, rolling his eyes fondly. "Yeah, that sounds like her."

     "Oh, right," Quinlan said. "You two were crechemates."

     "Since I was four and she was six. I've always seen my crechemates as siblings, but since I learned that it was my father that brought Ara here from Sphinx, that feeling has been even stronger...." He walked to the correct stop and turned back to the group. "I don’t mind if you want to come. The food is good if you’re in the mood for it. The general clientele is a bit rough." [...]
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
This is something I came up with many months ago, just for fun. ATLL mentions a Jedi Temple intranet-type-thing, and I've added various message boards to this, including trade boards and a board about the THLJ stories and, of course, a hookup board. No, Ara didn't create any of them, but she is active on many of them.

Jedi Temple Hookup Board "3 Words" meme (3 words to describe your partners)

Ara's answers:

Drallig: Intuition, Intensity, Stamina (or) Six White Horses
Gi-Ho: Dexterity, Sensuality, Patience
Vos: BDE Comically Justified
Carlin: Creativity, Enthusiasm, Flexibility
Jitters: He's My Bitch (or) He's Mine, Bitches (or) In My Service (or) Eager To Please (or) Takes Direction Well
Feemor: I'm His Piñata (or) Taken Down Hard
Yoda: Absolute Zero Subspace (or) Horny Little Troll (or) Taken Down Deep

( Not a partner, but Kenobi: Room Temperature Fire [or] Light, No Heat [or] Thinks I'm Kin/Family )

8/5/24: Ara: Horny On Main (or) Silent Flute Virtuoso
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
So, the story I just posted went through a metric fuckton of changes during the two months I spent writing and tweaking it, and the last month of re-writes and tweaks are a result of this conversation with the original author on ATLL. She made some good points and the issue we talked about wound up not coming up in the finished product, but Yoda kissing Obi-Wan as a 'test' does come up in previous iterations. Kissing someone without permission or warning is technically assault in many if not most jurisdictions, and that's mentioned in some of these outtakes, and I'll mention which ones in the cut tags. I do intend to have some kind of discussion in my eventual postable story about the 'kiss test' and consent (after all, Ara gives the Consent Seminar and wouldn't let learning of it--or experiencing it herself--pass without comment), but as of now I'm not sure how or where or when. Some of that dithering is in my author's notes from the past.

     Note, 4/6/24: Changed the timeline again. No discussion of the 'test' this night, Ara will actually get 'tested' several months later during the 'beginning of the dynamic' conversation. At some point Cin's conscience will prod at him to tell Ara that Yoda was there for the whole conversation. Cin will reason--and intuit--that if she knows all along, she'll stress about it and be weird around Yoda and wind up making a move before she was ready. And that intuition would be right. Probably he waits until the NRE starts to wind down and they're settling into the coziness of a long-term relationship, by which time he knows how to say it, and by which time Ara trusts Cin's judgment (and his intuition) even more than she had when he first sort-of asked her out. She'll be annoyed at the omission, and she'll also be annoyed that he was right about it being necessary, and have to deal with that. Probably she drags Cin along to some event that he finds boring (not something he hates!) as "punishment" for the lie of omission, then does something extravagant (by their standards) to thank him for acting in a way that didn't lead to her jumping the gun with Yoda. But first I have to re-write this fucking night AGAIN. Not all of it, but a lot of it.

===

     Change of plans, 3/30/24: Instead of the "kiss test" bombshell coming this night, it'll happen later. Already added an edit to the above. Likely Ara could receive the 'kiss test' during the 'how the dynamic starts' conversation.

---

wait, who else is on the line? )

---

conversation with Yoda about being wild and uncouth enough, then conversation about lightsabers )

===

Later in the conversation:

mentions kiss test )

===

Quin and Jitters make out, aftermath of kiss test conversation into the next day )

---

more ideas (from me as the author and from Jitters in-universe) for dealing with kiss test knowledge )

---

Cin comforts Ara, and in another part Ara shares some relationship worries )

===

hypothetical 'unpublishable short story' conversation, nsfw )

===

lift conversation where Cin and Yoda don't stay for tea )


6/8/24: Here's the very first version of the story, that was still on my old Google Docs story-bits file.

scripted )

And finally, here's some of what was going through Ara's mind while she was checked out:

"Why me? He can do so much better."
"What if I can't love him like he needs/deserves?"
"What about attachment?!"
"Do I want to attempt another romantic relationship?"
"What if I hurt him?"
"What if he hurts me?"
"What if I *do* fall in love with him?!"
"What if it's a flash in the pan like with Master Gi-Ho?"
"What if it lasts a long time, with our respective ages and lifespans?"
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
This took about two months to write, what the fuck. Well, there was a bunch of stuff that got cut (I'll be posting the outtakes after this), and then I was realizing that my big file with un-posted stuff on it doesn't have much left in it, and that I'm starting to lose the daydream that had been going more-or-less strong since September. Which is a real bummer. I got back into Star Wars in a big way this past May so it's been almost a year, and in that year I've done more fiction writing than in the previous ten. With this story, even after I connected the various chunks of character interactions into a whole story, I'd go through at least every other day and re-read the whole thing, making little nitpicks. I was going to wait until I could get through the whole 8k+ words without making any adjustments, but I'm self-aware enough to know that I'll never write a story that I won't want to make little (or big) tweaks to later on.

References: the ATLL 'verse fic Faithful Friends Who Are Dear to Us, this which takes place the night before the story below (there's also going to be another bit where Cin and Zarra dance, then talk about getting Yoda on the news, and Zarra asks Cin about Ara, and Cin calls Jo who sends them a visual of Ara playing guitar and singing at the small party, and of her back-and-forth with the audience. (I have an idea for Ara, Cin, and Yoda on the news show from the beginning of Faithful Friends, but that might be *too* self-indulgent.) Anyhow, there's also a reference to an as-yet-unwritten story of Ara and Master Gi-Ho, and Ara's food issues. The old timeline summary of that is here. In the new timeline, she's nearly 14 when the disastrous dinner happens. Also this very NSFW bit about Ara and Cin's first time together is mentioned.

So with all that preamble (as if anyone is reading this), here's the story that took two months to write:

     Author's Note: I know I was intending to do more just-in-the-world, not-in-the-events thing, but I was inspired by re-reading Faithful Friends. There's even a bit of direct quoting at the very beginning of this story. This might wind up being a different year of Light Nights, but for now it's the one in the story.

     Also, before the quoted part at the beginning, Yoda gets a selfie of Obi-Wan trying to "walk in peaceful wisdom, but it's too cold." By the time his voice is overheard in this story, he's returned to Knights Tower and added his own Light Nights leftovers to the feast.

     Also-also, Cin's pet loth-cat/tooka, Luna, is there the whole time, being cuddled by Si until Sister Gabby comes to take him to bed.

---

cut for length )
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
I thought I'd posted these months ago, but I guess not. Here's the first bit:

At the end of the lunchtime conversation:

Ara: "My next therapy appointment is gonna be lit."

Jinn, grumpily: "Mine, too."

Ara: "When I first started therapy as a new padawan, Master Nu said that therapy was like a class, and that you only get out of it what you put into it."

Jinn: "And what kind of class is therapy?"

Ara: "Getting your shaavit together 101."

Jinn laughs, and it's genuine. A few others at the table do as well.

Jinn raises his water glass and says, "To getting our shaavit together."

Ara clinks his glass with her caf mug and says, "To getting our shaavit together."

Several others also raise their beverages and say, "Cheers."

Another thing that could happen in the (or a) lunchtime conversation::

(from DW) "You're right, of course," said Ara, then turned back to Master Jinn. "I'm sorry again, because spelling it all out like that, it's not your fault at all. It's only connected to you in my head because it's Skywalker that you threw away Obi-Wan for."

Master Jinn looked like he wanted to object to her phrasing, but he didn't. That raised him a tiny bit in her estimation.


(new) Jinn: "You really care about him, don't you?"

Ara: "Of course. I've known him for almost as long as I can remember."

Jinn: "How long have you been together?"

Ara: "We're not."

Jinn: "Why not? You don't seem particularly shy about asking for such things."

Ara: "I wasn't. I asked him out on an actual date, years ago, and he turned me down. He was very kind about it."

Jinn: "How many offers does he think he's going to get?"

Ara: *eyeroll* "No wonder he doesn't know he's hot. Aside from some gaps here and there, he's had his entire self-worth nuked from orbit from his earliest memories through about age twenty-five, so his flabber is totally gasted any time anyone shows the least bit of interest in him. Besides, he deserves better than to settle and I deserve better than to be settled for."

Master Yoda cleared his throat and gave Ara a Look. On with it please get, it said.

(old) "And then there's Anakin's mother. I didn't even make it to the auction block, so I can't even imagine what she's been through. And if the Force is really Anakin's dad, that means it's very likely that Mama Skywalker is Force-sensitive. If only for her own sake as a person, she deserves to be free, but on a larger scale, she's Anakin Skywalker's mother. And Anakin Skywalker is already powerful in the Force, and he's still very much attached to her, understandably so, and from what I gathered, the Chancellor is being a creep about her too. [...]"

---

Tahl, later: "'His flabber was totally gasted?'"

Ara: "I get all the fresh new slang from my honorary initiates. I'm still in contact with most of them. Though none of them are teenagers anymore so that's starting to slow."
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
This story takes place at least two years after the end of Faithful Friends. It takes place immediately after the lunchtime conversations--those entries can be found here and here, but for the best for-now continuity, the story below directly follows this section.

It is with great relief and anticipation that Ara leaves the commissary. She goes back to her quarters and packs an overnight bag…which doesn't take very long.

What now?

Master Feemor had said that she could be as early as she liked, but realistically she knows that he needs time to eat his lunch and make his own preparations for the evening. So she sets an alarm for two hours and takes a nap. scene, initial aftercare, then conversation and further aftercare the next morning )

Obi-Wan kneels to let Master Yoda onto his shoulders, and Ara and Jitters exchange a private little smile about how pretty their friend looks on his knees. Yoda gives them a smug grin over Obi-Wan's head that fairly shouts mine he is, bitches! as he's borne off to the Council meeting that he's unfashionably late for, and Ara and Jitters go back to Knight's Tower to figure out what one does with a mental health day.


[Edit, 4/18/24: The conversation about Jitters, and somewhat after he arrives, is going to have to change. Obi-Wan being friends with Ara since childhood and Jitters since early in ATLL means that he'd have witnessed their dynamic before, and would have had chances to ask questions before.

SO GLAD that I didn't just start posting on AO3 right away. SO MUCH has changed since this daydream started in September and SO MUCH is going to change, I'm certain.]
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
...and it turned out to be wrong. But like the Vigil stuff, I'm going to post it anyway in case the dialogue or something else is useful to me later, and if nothing else, I enjoy going back and reading my own daydreams from months past. :)

---

If this 'verse ever makes it to AO3, it'll probably be very different, but these two bits gave me a bit of daydreaming, and a possible attempt at a romantic relationship for Ara after Faithful Friends. I might even keep the first bit where it is in the timeline, and move the second bit (the dinner where Clearing says "ask her out" and what happens after) to a year or so later, because very very AU and because I really do want to move beyond the events of the source fic.

The initial idea is in parentheses, then the longer daydream version is below that. )

Update, 3/9/24: I just read the beginning of chapter 6 again, and it's Cin with Yoda, Knight Gates (who tried to mind trick Slo Min) and Master Slant (head of the PR office). Cin lets Yoda down to talk to Gates at a distance, and Slant and Cin talk to Mann-Gel and get introduced to Zarra. Shortly after, Yoda joins the group and is intorduced to Zarra. Because it's either that or Ara interrupts Cin while he's dancing with Zarra later, and she wouldn't do that, she'd use it as an excuse to keep "waffling," as Master Jo would put it.

Fuck it, maybe this takes place later too. Or I can just re-write it.

---

Edit, later the same night: So I banged this out just now. I should probably let it sit in the Notepad file and get little nit-picks over a period of weeks like the above part, but...nah. Besides, I can always nitpick-edit here.

Here we go again.

only the Jedi present realize that there's Jedi Poly on display )

Seeming past ready to wrap this conversation up and get out on the dance floor, Master Yoda said to Mann-Gel and Zarra, "Go and see the room, you should, but welcome to dance with us you all are. The Sixth Night for sharing joy and friendship is. Several dances we are holding tonight. Join us you should if find one you like you do."
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
It's taken me this long to realize that I've dropped bits of hints here and there about Ara writing short stories, having a publisher, having them edited by the shadows before they can be sent to the publisher, etc....

SO. In the new timeline, Ara gets her sexuality training at age 22, and once that's done she goes to The Teaching Dungeon with Quinlan and Jitters. She learns a lot and does a lot. The Force is her wingman and nudges her towards or away from various partners. Sometimes the "away from" is a "not yet," and Ara notices that the "not yet" nudges-away tend to be in relation to older male authority figures, and when she starts getting the nudge-toward starting at age 24, she makes the educated guess that the Force was waiting for the older man in question to see her as an adult.

ANYWAY. Ara has kept a detailed journal since she was an initiate. Once she hits puberty (at 15, old for a baseline human but young for a Sphinxian peasant), she starts to have fantasies, pause for TLK and recovery (well, recovery is a life-long process but the two years immediately following are the most intensive), then Ara gets her groove back (the events of the actual Sixth Night That Never Happened are roughly the same but Ara is 17), reads all the things and fantasizes and writes it down, finally gets her S-training at 22, gets into kink stuff, has a wide variety of sex with a wide variety of adults, and writes. down. everything.

And after awhile, she decides that she wants to submit some of her own stories to the literary magazine that publishes her favorite kinky and/or sexy short stories. It's kind of embarrassing, because she starts by telling her Master and Step-Master (Jocasta Nu and Yan Dooku), because even if you include her mind-healer, they are are her most trusted adults, even now that she's been Knighted. Master Jo cringes through her almost-daughter's sex stories but sees the literary merit. Master Yan doesn't read the stories but takes Head Archivist Nu's word for it. Dooku's already left the order by now (he left shortly before Ara's S-training), so he's already the Count of Serenno. He's had his doubts about the Order and Ara had grown up debating Jedi Order and Galactic Republic policy with Jo and Yan, and they disagree on a fair amount, but when it comes to money, Ara knows she's out of her depth. Master Yan sets up a bank account for Ara on Serenno, that only she can access.

Ara thinks that her earnings should go directly to the Order, since they've funded her entire life and education since she was five months old, but Yan convinces her that there's security and freedom in having funds that nobody but you can touch. She agrees with that, but lists the Order as her next of kin and quietly vows to draw from the account as little as possible or not at all. Eventually it'll be settled that the initial payment for each story will go into Ara's bank account, but any royalties will go to the Fenrish Rangers, the anti-slavery group that helped Jo and Yan and the other Jedi on that mission rescue Ara and the other captives during TLK.

Ara and Master Jo take her stories to the Council to get their permission to submit Ara's erotic short stories for publication. After all, these stories are written from the point of view of a Jedi Senior Padawan/later a young Jedi Knight, so while it could [insert better word than "humanize"] the Jedi, it could also be bad PR. The Council assigns two Shadows to make sure that the Jedi equivalent of state secrets aren't revealed, and that the "serial numbers" are thoroughly "filed off" of any real people, Jedi or civilian, and that while the Order doesn't have to be portrayed as perfect, it should be portrayed in as good a light as possible.

So her short stories get published. Her self-insert original character, and her pen name, is Relly Adoy. Relly is one of Perry the Padawan's creche-mates (Perry the Padawan is a series of stories for initiates with "Perry the Padawan and..." type titles. This is my worldbuilding, not ATLL. Ara will later describe her stories as "Perry the Padawan Gets His Freak On."), and Adoy is "Yoda" spelled backwards. She honors Yoda in this way because Yoda accepted her for who she was, weirdness and all (this, but in the new timeline she's ten by the calendar but six developmentally).

Some of the stories are based on Ara's real sex life, some are fantasies, some are combinations of the two. Often Ara will lie about which stories are which to protect the identities of the people the characters are based on--especially the fantasized-about, who might not know that they've been fantasized about by The Horny Little Jedi.

Yep, that's what she goes with. She's 24 when she starts to publish (so developmentally 16), and she thinks it's hilarious and loves the titling scheme. (She'll learn sometime around age 30 that the age of consent for a Sphinxian peasant is 25, but she's exiled from Sphinx, she's a citizen of Coruscant and a legal adult by Coruscant law, and she's spent all of her life that she can remember trying to keep up with her agemates and therefore growing up before her time.)

I came up with some of these titles back in November/December 2023. There were two daydreams that were going to be part of the story but wound up not being canon once I decided that Ara and Obi-Wan are never going to hook up. With the THLJ stories, I can repurpose those into in-universe stories, but they'll be unpublishable and they'll only be shared with Yoda once their D/s is established, and Yoda can share them with Obi-Wan at his discretion.

Anyhow, here are some of the titles I came up with:

The Horny Little Jedi...
...Should Really Know Better By Now
...Meets Her Match
...Rides the Green Dragon
...Goes Out On The Town
...Really Dodged A Blaster Bolt There
...Release Her Pent-Up Energy Into The Force And Does Her Homework. (Just Kidding.)
...In The Dungeon
...Respects Her Elders
...Doesn't Kink-Shame The Jedi Fetishists (Much)
...And The Petty Revenge
...Uses Her Safe Word
...Tries Age Play Exactly Once

some nsfw under the cut )

That's all the detail I have for now.

No, there's one more thing. At some point Ara is going to win a literary award for one or more of her erotic short stories, and there's only a handful of people she can tell because of the whole super secret pen name thing (she doesn't find her sex life or her fantasy life shameful, but she also doesn't want the whole Temple to know or to become a subject of gossip, especially since the small percentage of the Order that know her name either know because of TLK or because of her promiscuous reputation under her own name). She describes her character Relly Adoy in the stories as being a few centimeters taller than herself and having shoulder-length straight red hair (the real Arala Melnau is 4'6" with long curly blonde hair), and a shape-shifter assumes the character description and wears an earpiece so Ara can feed them her speech and comments for the reception after (Ara's not the only recipient, so it's a fairly long ceremony and reception). The magazine publisher is in on the deception because Master Yan did a lot of the initial negotiating before even the first of Ara's stories got published and there are severe penalties for the magazine if anything they do contributes to Ara's true identity being revealed to the public.

Okay, now that's it for now. If anyone has questions about anything in the Arala Melnau 'verse, or prompts, or constructive criticism, please comment. I'm going to post this stuff anyway, but it'd be nice to know that I'm not just typing into the void.

Edit, 4/21/24: There's no way Master Jo or the Council would let a Padawan publish smutty short stories, even if that Padawan was a legal adult and post-S. No, it'd be after she was knighted at 25, which would feel right in the Force, though they won't know why until Ara (or Arrek) learns that the Sphinxian age of majority is 25 standard for her caste. As in, only after being knighted would she even bring it up. She'd probably be 26 by the time the first story was scrubbed by the Shadows and published, so only a year's worth of stories by the time of the events of ATLL. But ATLL and FF take place over 4 years, and there's all the time after that, so there's plenty of time to have mention of different stories and writing awards (if any).
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
This is the one where I use waaaaaay too many quotes (in this case, from Chapter 12). I did my best to skip over long bits of conversation (ms_nawilla, the author of ATLL, has the same tendency I do to have super long-ass Heinlein-esque conversations that are most of the plot.) I didn't want to cover every single beat because for many of them, there isn't much I can add via Ara, so I have her tune out or go wash dishes or something.

I spent two weeks or so going over the various versions of Ara at the vigil, and now, while I still want to stay with Ara in the prequel-verse, and I like original characters like Masters Si and Bes and Jitters and Kressa, aside from the stuff I'll be re-writing for the updated timeline, I'm going to be moving to scenarios that take place at different events (some will be at the same place, like there are scenarios that take place on the South Terrace at tea, and at least one idea for a future Light Nights, and an Aldera Summit where Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Ara are the Jedi attendees). The story is great, but I feel like a weirdo being so canon-specific for a fanfiction, even a fairly epic 'verse like this one. Vigil stuff incoming (this first part is gonna be looooong); after that, more on the updated timeline, then, slowly, more bits of story may or may not ever become something I can post to AO3.

(They said, as if anyone else was reading this.)

Author's Note: Stelara House is something from my Sequel Trilogy daydream, the Elia Garek 'verse. They make custom leather BDSM paraphernalia (like whips and floggers), and they have an optional coating that makes it so that the item can be completely sterilized in a high-pitched sonic shower. (As opposed to real leather, which can absorb fluids and get gross, those details are irrelevant to anything in this post because while there are a few mentions of kink, but nothing that's particularly NSFW.)

Day 3 of the vigil, enter Bail and Rouge )

This next part is an alternate version of what happens directly after Yoda, Quinlan, and Kressa ask Ara how to talk to Obi-Wan about the near-SA in this part of the previous entry. I thought Ara offering to help Eller in her regular work during this time could be one of the things that leads to Ara becoming Eller's assistant.

Relevant context for this scene:The Library Kidnapping (TLK); Master Nu suggesting Ara be Eller's assistant. Timeline changes will mostly affect how old Ara was for TLK and LNF's arrival in Temple.

At the time of The Vigil, Ara is still an Archvist. Her job is sometimes admin work with Master Nu but mostly either helping people use the Archives or taking reference calls from field knights (the latter being what Qui-Gon Jinn kept calling Tahl on her personal line for throughout the Jedi Apprentice series). LNF's creche group (which includes Anakin) is old enough to use the Archives. [Not sure how LNF finds out that he and Ara are gentically related--either he sees her name on his paperwork when he's in the Halls of Healing, or maybe he just goes to the Archives with his creche group, Ara looks at him but sees the worst of the Bad Men from TLK, can't hide the horror in her face or her Force presence, and runs to the 'fresher to be sick, then she has to explain herself.] Either way, LNF's friend Anakin's friend Chancellor Palpatine will convince both of them that LNF "deserves" a relationhip with "his mother" and refuse to leave her alone, which makes the trauma reactions, loss of appetite, nightmares, etc., go from bad to worse to the point where it's affecting her work.

And...wow, I think I put more thought into this summary than the actual snippet. Oh well, it's my DW.

an offer of help )

This next part takes place early on Day 2 of The Vigil. I'm lonely and touch-starved, so myself-insert OC gets TWO CUDDLES. The conversation after "Oh, bite me" is ridiculosity that will never make it to the AO3 version of this 'verse but it was fun to imagine.

more action than these quarters have seen since the previous occupant )

Edit: Just remembered there was an earlier version of trying to find a way for Ara and Yoda to cuddle on Obi-Wan's couch during The Vigil. This takes place overnight between Days 1 and 2:

self-indulgent ridiculosity )

Edit, 03/30/24: I started to correct the tenses here, then I remembered that I started to re-write this entire piece to reflect the still-changing (but not as drastically as before) timeline and to try to quote the source fic less. So...sorry the tenses in especially the first part are so wonky.
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
The Vigil takes place during chapters nine, ten, eleven, twelve, and thirteen (CW for remembered attempted rape in Ch.13) of All The Little Lights. My stories in that universe are an AU of an AU, and I guess I have to keep reminding myself of that, because I kept going back to try to keep to the 'canon' of the 'source material' fic, but towards the end of writing all this out, I decided fuck it and decided to just write out whatever I daydreamed and could actually make into a semi-coherent conversation. (There are also two scenes where I try to give my self-insert OC an in-universe-realistic reason to cuddle Yoda, and both wind up ridiculous, but dammit, I want to cuddle Yoda.)

This first part contains several direct or slightly altered quotes from Chapter 9. But not as many as when I dropped Ara into Chapter 12. On the bright side, I'm starting to burn out on keeping to the story itself and instead being more interested in the world and the characters, and also bringing in worldbuilding and characters from other fics. Though that last part won't be in this (very long) entry.

P.S. This takes place in the new timeline (still working out the details), where Ara is two years older than Obi-Wan. (She and Quinlan might be the same age to the day, but I haven't decided yet.)

a bit of Chapter 9, then new stuff )

Here are some bits that were going to be part of the above, but they didn't fit: they were Ara oversharing about Obi-Wan or just stuff that wasn't relevant.

outtakes )

Day 2 of the Vigil

(I daydreamed this all the way to Sarasota and back as Master Gi-Ho showing up while Bail and Rouge were there, but he was there on day 2, not day 3. This doesn't happen, but I'm going to write it out in case any of the dialogue is useful later.)

[This contains dialogue from the end of Chapter 11, and the beginning of the relevant section says that this part takes place after dinner hour, but Bail and Rouge's visit was morning and afternoon, so I'm putting this at early afternoon.]

Master Gi-Ho has magic hands )

2/5/24:Dammit, that's the bedtime alarm. I'll post the rest tomorrow.
oh_what_can_it_mean: chibi john sheppard from sga having trouble writing (chibi)
[not in either notepad file]

So this is a thing that's been in my mind for most of the time I've been daydreaming the Arala Melnau 'verse, that I just started to really realize the implications of over the past few days.

I took the planet name Sphinx and that it's a heavy world from the Honor Harrington series, and that the Sphinxians are humans that are genetically engineered to thrive on a heavy world but still look like standard humans (as opposed to short and stocky like humans from another heavy world in the same series), and that they have an artificially fast metabolism. There's also a thing called Prolong, in which each generation who gets the treatment has a longer life, but I took that idea and did something different with it.

The rest I made up just for this daydream 'verse:

>> Note: I'm a pharmacy tech, not a doctor. All the medical/nutrition stuff about Sphinxians is part Honorverse, part guesswork. It might not be how the biology would actually work, but not only am I a sci-fi nerd who likes me some technobabble, Star Wars is science fantasy, which means I can *really* do whatever tf I want. Also, this is an AU of an AU. Whatever.

>> Sphinxians look like unaltered standard-grav humans, but they're heavier than they look because they have denser bone and muscle mass.

>> Sphinxians have three castes: peasants (mostly farmers, some craftspeople), merchants and artists, and the aristocracy. All have differently artificially-enhanced lifespans. Peasants have an average lifespan of 150 standard, merchants and artists have an average lifespan of 200 years, and aristocrats have an average lifespan of 300 years. Each caste has its own age of consent and age of majority because the whole lifespan is stretched out, including childhood and adolescence. (Yes, that means a 30 year old aristocrat is functionally 10. That's part of what I've been editing the entire 'verse over. [20 minutes of searching the word "padawan" in ATLL, stopping to read long passages, then getting annoyed with myself and moving forward only to do the same thing again, I finally found the term I was looking for.] Arrek is put in the "novice padawan" program. It's considered for Ara but instead she gets an extended age deadline of onset of puberty plus two years. This is one of the things I came up with yesterday 1/19/24.)

>> There's mixing between castes, but it's not common, and genealogy and telomere measurements are used to determine when mixed-caste people are of age for things.

>> Ara comes from a family of peasant farmers. Arrek is an aristocrat, but that's all the detail I have on him for now.

>> Sphinx is a very insular world. It's a heavy world, so most sentients can't visit comfortably, and there's condemnation from some societies either for their caste system or for their extensive germ-line gene editing, or both. Therefore, the rest of the galaxy (and therefore the Jedi) have very little knowledge of Sphinxian biology or culture. The information they do have mostly comes from AgriCorps Jedi who are occasionally (grudgingly) invited to Sphinx to deal with *handwaves* agricultural stuff.

>> The human colony on Sphinx has been around for about seven hundred years in the present of the main story (Ara's 20s or 30s, this is in flux.) The original colonists instituted the gene-editing program and the caste system, but I don't have any detail for that yet.

So...

I had the idea of Ara having a projected lifespan of 150 years, but it was only in the past few days (like since Wednesday 1/17/24) that I really realized that it would mean that unless she aged as normal until puberty or adulthood, that would mean that she simply ages at 2/3 of the rate of unaltered standard-grav humans. Which means that the Force would discourage Master Nu from considering Ara when she was 8, because she'd be the equivalent of 5 1/3. Ara couldn't start her S-training at 18 because she'd be the equivalent of 12. Neither Nu nor Ara (nor the Healers) know exactly how slowly Ara is aging, and aside from needing to spend at least 1/3 of her time in grav and knowing that she was stronger than the other children, she doesn't know how else she's different from bog-standard humans, so she feels like she's always falling behind her crechemates. (She was potty-trained later than the other humans, she was brought from the nursery to the creche later than the other humans, she was the last in her creche group to stop talking to the Force out loud where others could hear.)

She studies and train as hard as she can despite only being fed enough for an unaltered standard-grav human girl of her size. She sits in a meditative position from an early age because she's just tired and her bones hurt, but quickly she gets the hang of actual meditation and asks the Force for strength, her docents don't know that treat her like she's aging any slower than her crechemates so she's not cut any slack (no-one does until after Ara gets the "afternoon dizzies" in front of Master Nu and the dinner that goes badly and Nu taking Ara to the Healers and really getting the ball rolling on what her Near-Human species needs to thrive), so while her brain is growing at a normal Sphinxian pace, Ara essentially grows up at 1.5x 0.66x speed (edit 1/31/24) and is mature for her age.

And this is the part where things are going to be different (there's going to be some tension between Ara and Nu when Ara turns 18 but it's very clear in the Force, to Nu at least, that Ara isn't close to adult maturity yet, especially since Ara is looking forward to her S-training so much after getting her groove back after The Sixth Night That Never Happened, maybe TLK is when Ara is 15 standard and TSNTNH is age 17?, and they go to the Healers and the Healers are like, yeah, physically you're twelve or so, gotta wait) and that's okay because honestly I'd been having some real daydreamer's block trying to think of a new scene to nitpick every word and action of over a period of days to a week, and now I'll have who knows how many weeks just re-thinking and re-writing what's already there, and I know that doing that will generate new scenes, because I just now (1/20/24) thought about tension between Ara and Nu about chronological age vs. biological age, and that's just the beginning.
oh_what_can_it_mean: quote: "if I don't write to empty my mind, I'll go mad" (Default)
Posted 1/4/25, but I didn't want it to get in the way of reading my own fic.

This wound up so long-quote heavy that my keystrokes show up on a delay when I update the Notepad document, so I'm going to post stuff here and put the already-posted parts in a separate document.

The problem with this project is that I keep doing re-reads, and they always start at the beginning, and every re-read, I wind up considering more parts worthy of quote-for-reference, but fuck it. This worldbuilding/brainstorming/commentary part and this quotes-for-reference part and the new summaries-of-chapter-sections all seems like a bit much, but I remind myself that fans have made wikis for fanworks before (Like the epic Re-Entry 'verse), so is this so weird? *listens to the Force* Oh, so it is weird, but that's okay? Awesome.

Anyhow...needless to say, this series (I'll put as many characters in each post as DW will allow) is almost entirely quotes from the ATLL 'verse, which I neither own nor profit from, and the ATLL 'verse is based on Star Wars, which neither I nor the source fic author profit from. (Obviously, but better safe than sorry.)

I did a bit of formatting to save space but I didn't change any of the text.

Text between brackets >> like this << are my words.

Bolded bits: Emphasis mine.

Chapter One Quotes and Notes )

===

Chapter Two Quotes and Notes )

===

Chatper Three Quotes and Notes )

===

Chapter Four Quotes and Notes )
===

Chapter Five Quotes and Notes )

===

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